Dear Parents,

 

When I was around 4 or 5 years old, I was being interviewed for Kindergarten by someone I had never met before. Meeting new people was always something that had given me a lot of anxiety.. Sometimes, I would just completely shut down. 

 

During the Kindergarten interview, the interviewer was testing me on shapes or numbers or another pre-school-level skill, and I (apparently) abruptly said, "I'm bored!" and ran out of the room.  When the interviewer followed me, I doubled back, closed the door on her, and locked her out of her own office. 

 

Given the similar 'flight' responses I exhibited when work was challenging in later school years, my parents felt that I wasn’t really bored, but rather just uncomfortable with the cognitive challenge, and that's why I ran. 

 

Because I refused to let her in, my dad had to be called in to convince me to unlock the office door to let the interviewer back in. 

 

The combination of stress, anxiety, being uncomfortable and not wanting to be there is what I believe led me to act out in such a way.

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What was actually happening?

 

It COULD have been possible that I may have been more comfortable if I had a parent with me, but this wasn’t a part of that specific Kindergarten’s interview process. We were following protocol, but that protocol wasn’t right for me. At the time, this simple interview was meant to be something unintimidating, but because I didn’t know the person with me and was entirely disinterested, I found myself under a lot of stress. I wasn’t afraid of the interviewer; I was just being silly and wanted to act out in a silly way.

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Things I’d recommend to help your child in a situation like this:

 

• Find out what the interviewing situation is ahead of time.

• Preparation is crucial; Consider accompanying your child for any completely new situations where there’s a possibility he/she will feel uncomfortable (it is likely that if they were to be left alone, they would make a decision that you may not agree with). To this day, my parents feel they could have prepared me a bit better for what the interview was going to be like, what to expect, etc. 

• Aiming to mentally prepare your child might not work in this situation, especially if your child is particularly young like I was. However, you can try to frame the situation as best you can, giving context on time, place, and what will tangibly be happening. 

• Less is more: You don’t have to give ALL the context; just the basics and things you feel are most important for your child to remember. 

• Inquire if there is an alternative method the organization can use to get to know your child, one that might include the presence of parents, at least at the beginning.