Dear Parents, 

 

When I was in elementary school, school was never really easy for me, which led me to act out - especially math class, which was always something I struggled with. Being the way I was, when I struggled with something, I would do whatever I could to avoid it. 

 

My childhood best friend and I both shared a similar dislike for math class (although I believe I was the ring-leader). Whenever we acted out in class, we would get sent to the school specialist. Once we figured out what we needed to do to avoid math class, we kept doing it. And so, we would act out in various ways RIGHT before math class to ensure we would be sent to the school specialist. We avoided many math classes in that way. 

 

I remember vividly the day that my fellow classmates were showing the rest of the class how to count by fives (some classmates had learned prior). During this, I remember being so overwhelmed by this and not understanding it that I felt helpless (I would think: “What are they saying? “What is going on?”). I even remember sitting in math class asking my friend the time because I couldn’t read a clock. I remember counting down the minutes before class was over because I just didn’t want to be there. 

 

I also didn’t understand multiplication. I remember sitting at my desk staring at the worksheets and just feeling overwhelmed because I didn’t know how to do it. That’s when I would count down the minutes until class was over. 

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What was actually happening?

 

Because of information-overwhelm, I chose avoidance. I felt like I was incapable of doing the task I needed to do, so I did anything to avoid it. I saw a path forward, and rallied my best friend to join me.

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Things I’d recommend to help your child in a situation like this:

 

• Ensure understanding before your child reaches a point of avoidance. Let them know it’s okay to feel that way. For instance, if the teacher had noticed I was struggling, they could have taken the time to explain the concept. For instance, I just didn’t understand the concept of multiplication. If it were to be clearly explained to me, I could have grasped it, but everyone was moving at a different pace (maybe it was explained to the class, but I missed it because I was with the school specialist). 

• Giving rewards. This is a great way to encourage cooperation. For instance, in some situations, I knew I’d get a small prize (candy, a sticker, etc) at the end if I was good… this gave me incentive to be good and it worked.